Therapy for Complex Trauma and Relational Trauma
Still feeling the impact of your past, even if you can’t fully explain why?
Therapy for people navigating the lasting effects of childhood and relational trauma
In Fort Lauderdale And Virtual Throughout Florida, Vermont, And Delaware
You might not think of what you went through as “trauma.”
You’ve learned to move on, push through, and keep going.
And yet… it still lingers.. But you still are haunted by your parents actions, your ex, or other past relationships..
You find yourself stuck in the same patterns: in relationships, in how you see yourself, in how you respond to stress.
You might be closed off, overly willing to please others, have anger and sadness that haunts you.
At times, you question your reactions.
Why something small feels so big.
Or why you can’t seem to change patterns you understand logically.
This isn’t random.
These patterns often develop in response survive relationships, the ways you had to adapt, cope, or protect yourself.
And while those strategies once made sense, they may no longer be serving you.
You don’t have to keep living inside those patterns.
What Is Complex Trauma
I often describe complex trauma and relational trauma as “death by a thousand paper cuts”. It isn’t always about one single overwhelming event. It’s often about what happened over time in relationships that were supposed to feel safe, consistent, or supportive. This can include experiences like emotional neglect, criticism, unpredictability, feeling unseen, or having to adapt to others’ needs at the expense of your own.
These adaptations often shape how you see yourself and how you relate to others, long after the relationship is over. If you’re wondering whether what you’ve experienced complex trauma or you want to understand this more deeply, you can learn more on the complex trauma page.
Frequently Asked Questions About Complex Trauma
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Complex trauma isn’t always about one specific event, it often shows up in patterns over time.
There are a few common signs. You might notice a persistent negative self-concept (feeling not good enough, flawed, or ashamed), difficulty in relationships (like trusting, getting close, or feeling secure), and challenges with emotional regulation (feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or shutting down).
From a NARM perspective, we don’t focus on labeling what happened, we look at how these patterns are showing up in your life now, and how they may have developed as ways to cope and stay connected.
The good news is, these patterns can shift.
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Some examples include:
Growing up with caregivers who were emotionally unavailable, critical, or unpredictable
Feeling like you had to take care of others’ emotions instead of your own
Experiencing chronic rejection, bullying, or not feeling like you belonged
Being in relationships where you felt controlled, dismissed, or not fully seen
Repeated breakups, betrayals, or feeling abandoned in close relationships
Feeling like you had to hide or change who you are to be accepted, having your individuality dismissed, or being punished for who you are
It’s not always about how it looked from the outside, it’s about how it felt and what you had to do to cope.
Over time, these experiences can shape how you see yourself and how you show up in relationships.
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PTSD usually comes from a specific, overwhelming event (like an accident or assault) and often shows up as flashbacks, nightmares, or feeling on edge.
Relational trauma is more ongoing. It develops in close relationships, often early in life, where connection didn’t feel safe, consistent, or attuned. Instead of just symptoms, it shapes how you see yourself and how you show up in relationships (like people-pleasing, shutting down, or fearing closeness).
Both are valid forms of trauma, they just impact you in different ways.
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Yes. You don’t need a clear memory of the past for therapy to be effective.
From a NARM perspective, the focus isn’t on digging up memories, it’s on what’s happening in the present. How you relate to yourself, your emotions, and others often reflects patterns that developed earlier, even if you don’t consciously remember them.
We work with what’s showing up now, in your thoughts, your reactions, and your body responses to help shift those patterns in a way that feels grounded and sustainable.
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Yes, especially if the relationship was deeply significant or the ending felt overwhelming, destabilizing, or repeated over time.
From a NARM perspective, it’s not just the breakup itself, but what it touches. Loss, rejection, abandonment, or feeling like you weren’t enough can activate older patterns and survival strategies.
Sometimes it’s less about what happened and more about how it lands in your system. Therapy can help you make sense of those reactions and shift the patterns that keep getting replayed.
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From a NARM perspective, these patterns aren’t random. They’re adaptations your system learned to protect you and help you stay connected.
Even if they don’t work anymore, they can show up as overthinking, people-pleasing, shutting down, or pulling away.
We don’t focus on “fixing” you, we look at what these patterns are trying to do for you, and help you shift them so you can relate in ways that feel more secure, connected, and aligned.
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NARM works with trauma by focusing on what’s happening in the present, not just what happened in the past.
Instead of reliving old experiences, we pay attention to the patterns that are showing up now, how you relate to yourself, your emotions, and others. Many of these patterns developed as ways to cope and stay connected, even if they no longer serve you.
Through this process, you can begin to understand those patterns, loosen their grip, and experience more connection, flexibility, and a stronger sense of self.
How NARM Therapy Helps
Relational and complex trauma doesn’t just impact our mind. Our bodies store and develop strategies to keep us safe from future harm. These patterns live deeper, in the nervous system, in your sense of identity, and in how you relate to others.
NARM is a mind-body approach that focuses on those deeper patterns, without pathologizing you or getting stuck in the past.
Together, we pay attention to what’s happening in the present moment, how these patterns show up in real time, and gently work with them.
Rather than trying to “fix” you, this approach helps you understand how your system adapted in creative ways, and supports you in finding more flexibility, choice, and connection,
Over time, this can lead to meaningful shifts in how you experience yourself, how you relate to others, and how you engage in your life.
You have learned to handle things on your own for a long time.
But you don’t have to keep doing that here.
Therapy can be a space where things start to make sense and where new ways of relating to yourself and others can begin to take shape.