5 Eating Disorder Myths That Keep Men From Getting Help

Written by Dr. Matt Richardson, a therapist for gay men navigating anxiety, body image, and eating concerns.

Long before I became an eating disorder specialist, my picture of what an eating disorder looked like followed the same stereotype most people carry: a gravely thin teenage girl. I later realized I was struggling with my own eating disorder, and even though I'd become noticeably thin compared to my baseline, I had no idea, even when people around me were expressing concern. The stereotype was so strong that it kept me, by that time a therapist myself, from recognizing my own reality.

That stereotype shapes who gets diagnosed, who gets taken seriously, and causes many who are actively struggling to conclude their struggles aren’t serious enough or don’t count. Here are five of the most common myths I run into clinically, and why each one keeps men in particular from getting help.

Myth 1: You have to look a certain way for it to count

A lot of men who are actively struggling never get help because they don't look like what they picture an eating disorder to be. Weight and appearance tell you very little about what's actually going on internally. Someone can be restricting, bingeing, purging, or exercising compulsively at any body size, and the belief that suffering has to be visible is often exactly what delays someone from naming their own experience, let alone seeking treatment for it.

Myth 2: It's really about willpower or vanity

Eating disorders get dismissed as a matter of self-control or an obsession with looks, which makes them sound like a choice someone could just stop making. In reality, they usually function as a coping strategy, a way of managing anxiety, control, shame, or emotions that never had anywhere else to go. Treating it as a willpower problem adds shame on top of an already shame-driven condition, which makes someone even less likely to ask for support.

Myth 3: If you're not restricting, it's not that serious

Binge eating disorder is actually the most common eating disorder there is, and it frequently involves no restriction or purging at all. Because the popular image of an eating disorder centers on control and thinness, binge eating disorder often goes unidentified. Someone can be eating large amounts of food in a driven, distressing way and never once connect that pattern to the words "eating disorder," simply because it doesn't match the script.

Myth 4: Being really into fitness or "clean eating" is just healthy

This is one of the more dangerous myths precisely because it’s normalized and encouraged by society. Rigid rules around food, exercise used to compensate for eating, or an identity built entirely around discipline and "clean" choices can get read by everyone, including doctors, as admirable rather than concerning. Men in particular tend to receive this kind of behavior as praise rather than a warning sign, which means the people around someone struggling are often the ones reinforcing it without realizing it.

Myth 5: Recovery means you never think about food or your body again

Recovery isn't the total absence of difficult thoughts. It's a shift in how much power those thoughts have, and how someone responds when they show up. Expecting recovery to look like a finish line rather than an ongoing relationship can make setbacks feel like failure, when they're often just part of the process. That expectation alone keeps some people from starting treatment at all.

Why this matters

Every one of these myths gives someone a reason to conclude that what they're going through doesn't really count, or isn't serious enough, or looks too different from what an eating disorder is "supposed" to look like. One in three people with an eating disorder is a man, and that number is almost certainly an undercount. If any of this sounds familiar, whether it's something you're noticing in yourself or in someone you care about, it's worth taking seriously.

About the Writter:

I'm Dr. Matt Richardson, a licensed psychologist and owner of Rough Waters Psychology, a virtual practice specializing in therapy for gay men navigating anxiety, body image, and eating concerns. I work with men in Massachusetts, New York, Maine, and Florida.