Common Questions In Relationship Therapy
What Are Some Reasons People Start Relational Therapy?
Infidelity or Loss of Trust
Communication Issues
Loss of Passion or Sex in the Relationship
Extended Family Issues
Differing Values and Beliefs
Life Transitions
Life Stressor Impacting the Relationship
Deciding to change status of the relationship (open, poly, close, etc)
Navigating Chronic Illness
Cohabitating Issues
Conflict Resolution or Frequently Fighting
Fear of Committing for a Long Term Relationship
What if my partner doesn’t want to come to therapy?
If your partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy with you, there may be many valid reasons for this. Some people view couples therapy as the first step towards the end of a relationship. Others may fear that the therapist will take sides or blame them for the relationship issues. Additionally, some couples have had negative experiences with therapy in the past, leading their partner to be reluctant to return. I understand these concerns, and coercing them to attend therapy might harm the relationship.
As a system-focused therapist, I believe that all components within a system are interconnected and influence each other. Changing one aspect of the system can lead to shifts in dynamics. Therefore, having one partner in therapy, working on themselves and their relationship dynamics, can create changes within the relationship as a whole.
When to start couples therapy?
The time to start couples therapy is not only during times of crisis or when the relationship is on the brink of ending; rather, it can be immensely beneficial at various stages of a relationship. Even when your relationship is in a good place, such as at the beginning of a committed relationship or when entering into a new stage, it can be helpful to gain effective communication skills, discuss agreements and boundaries, and learn how to navigate these stages together. Waiting until a relationship reaches a crisis point can result in deeper emotional wounds, resentment, and can make the path to resolution more challenging.
Couples therapy is valuable when there's a sense of disconnect, communication breakdowns, or unresolved issues that, if left unaddressed, may escalate over time. Starting therapy earlier, during less critical moments, allows couples to proactively address concerns, develop stronger communication skills, and gain a deeper understanding of each other's needs and perspectives. I urge couples to enter therapy together before a crisis arises, as it serves as a preventive measure, helping them build a foundation of trust and intimacy. By seeking therapy when challenges arise but haven't reached a breaking point, couples can foster a healthier, more resilient relationship and develop the tools to navigate future difficulties effectively.
Will I be judged or will you take sides?
When you enter into relationship therapy with me, the relationship is my client, not the clients themselves. I will prioritize what is best for the relationship. This means there may be times when I upset or disagree with you. Conflict and ruptures are natural in all relationships, even with your therapist! While I strive not to take sides, there may be instances when I challenge you in ways you may not like. Please understand that it is not personal; it is about what is best for the relationship. If you feel that I am taking a side, please let me know, and I will gladly explain the clinical reasons behind my position.
Are you comfortable with kinks and non-traditional relationships?
Yes! I’m an affirming and non-judgmental therapist who welcomes and supports a wide spectrum of relationship dynamics—including open relationships, queer and LGBTQIA+ partnerships, polyamorous relationships, and other non-traditional constellations. I’m kink-friendly and body-positive, and I approach this work with warmth, curiosity, and deep respect.
Whether you're navigating different needs for intimacy, exploring non-monogamy or polyamory, integrating kink or power dynamics into your relationship, or working through jealousy, boundaries, or communication struggles, I offer a space to deepen trust, improve communication, and connect with your desires—without judgment or shame.
